*dances*

things but.. I can't because.. I don't think you want to hear from me.. but still.. every time I get on my computer I check my empty inbox and..
I'm sorry.
I just want to tell you how I'm really sick right now and I want to use one of your special band-aids to feel better..
and how it was the opening night of Orpheus tonight.. and I was Proud of my kids. They were so happy... it was worth it.
and how Tora called and asked if I could do a Butoh thing... get painted white and do some statueing for TV... talk about Zen and Butoh and.. I'm excited and terrified too...
All these things that I sit down and want to tell you.. but I can't .. and in my aching state of sickness it hurts all the more.

I hope you're smiling as I picture you in my head to be.

love,
-Frinny

"I'm SPEEDING!" (considering the Earth is spinning at 27.83km/s -at the equator)

I had three parties to go to last night.
THREE. One would think I'm fucking 'social' or something.
I chose Kaine's... I chose his and it was "perfect"... meant to be, anyhow. So fucking special.

Felling betrayed; a little angry.
Very much ALIVE, however.

More complications.. not what I was after, but it sure makes things interesting.
Perhaps I should stop analysing.. lying on the floor, freezing, curled in on myself.. it was like old times, while it set the "low"... The desperation was gone. Hurt without the release. Some thing's got to happen.

Feeling less [human]. More detached. Not feeling LESS, simply not being affected by what is there. Tired, mostly.

There's an eloquent way to explain this, I'm sure.

On a long enough time-line even the most extreme things begin to feel contrived.

I've been insanely busy of late... giving my all to Dracula...
It's incredible.
You know some thing's really right when your arms are starting to ache from mopping up fake blood and all you can do is grin and dance happily to the after-show music.

There are so many stories.. so many moments to remember.
The opening night party. (Drunken conversation)
Happiness. (A near constant - every time I think to remember where I am and what I'm doing)
Crisis. (Torches. Plugs. Light-bulbs. - Awareness and adrenalin)
Love. (every.damn.where)

Favourite quotes include (but are not limited to):
"It's... in... my....... skirt." ("The best part was looking at Kat's face afterwards.....*laughs quietly* I love this company")
"Frin is my favourite individual today."
"Lavender has no place in anything I have ever done. It should not exist as a colour or a smell."
"Fiddle-dee-dee potata... To be freeeeeeeee"
"My heart is breaking.. yet, my pelvis is aroused" ("This sound will tell me a lot about you")
"Ratties!!"
"I fuckin' love you Frin!" (see also: *Muppet laugh*)
"Oooh, that was a triple entendre, you know."
"Going to the VAL-EY!!"

I'm am so grateful for my life right now. At times it may be exhausting and it may be hard but it is, overall, breathtakingly amazing; I adore it. I refuse to take even a moment for granted.